Have you ever wondered why, despite your best efforts, some investment decisions are out of your control? Have you felt a surge of panic during a market dip, leading you to sell off stocks prematurely? Or perhaps you’ve held back from investing altogether despite knowing the long-term benefits?
These behaviors aren’t just about numbers—powerful emotional forces drive them. In Dr. Daniel G. Amen’s book Your Brain Is Always Listening, he introduces the idea of “dragons” that represent our subconscious emotional triggers. These dragons are the hidden drivers behind our thoughts, actions, and investment decisions.
As a financial planner, I have experienced it firsthand during client meetings; these dragons reveal themselves surprisingly. Clients may come armed with sound monetary knowledge, yet their emotional dragons can wreak havoc on their decision-making.
Here are some practical examples of how these dragons show up during client meetings—and, more importantly, how you can tame them.
- Abandoned, Invisible, or Insignificant Dragons:
One of the clients, a middle-aged professional, always hesitated when making major financial decisions. During our discussions, he revealed that he often felt overlooked growing up as the middle child in a large family. This sense of insignificance haunted him, manifesting in his reluctance to take control of his finances, even though he had the means and knowledge. He felt his decisions wouldn’t matter, much like how he felt in his family.
How to Tame It: Recognizing that these feelings stemmed from the past, not from his ability to make decisions, he began journaling his thoughts before making investments. This helped him separate emotions from logic, allowing him to make confident choices.
- Inferior or Flawed Dragons:
This dragon whispers that you’re not good enough, leading to excessive caution or reckless behavior. One client, despite having substantial savings, frequently made impulsive, high-risk investments just to prove his financial worth.
How to Tame It: He started tracking his wins and losses, not as failures but as lessons. By celebrating small victories and learning from mistakes, he gradually built confidence and made more balanced decisions. Addressing this, he shifted his strategy to more calculated, long-term investments, helping him understand that risky gambles didn’t define his worth.
- Anxious Dragons:
This dragon feeds off fear, especially the fear of losing money. A couple were highly anxious about market fluctuations: every minor dip caused them to consider selling, fearing losing everything. This anxious dragon had them constantly on edge, reacting impulsively to every headline.
How to Tame It: By following a structured investment plan. The couple learns to ride out market volatility by sticking to a long-term strategy, taming anxious dragons by focusing on the bigger picture.
- The Wounded Dragon:
This dragon stems from past financial losses, making you afraid to try again. One of the clients lost a significant amount of money in a previous investment. His Wounded Dragon was in full force—he had become so risk-averse that he refused to invest in anything, even bonds. This emotional scar from the past prevented him from growing his wealth, even for retirement.
How to Tame It: Start by making small, low-risk investments and slowly building up confidence. Over time, the client will learn to trust himself again and understand that not every investment will fail.
- The Should and Shaming Dragon
“I should be investing in tech stocks like everyone else,” a client said. This Should and Shaming Dragon guided his decisions, not his financial goals or risk tolerance. He felt pressured by peers and headlines, pushing him into investments that didn’t align with his strategy. This dragon pressures you to follow the crowd, making decisions based on what others think you should do.
How to Tame It: He shifted his focus from external pressures to his personal financial needs, creating a tailored investment plan that reflected his goals, not others. This helped him tune out the noise and invest with purpose.
- The Responsible Dragon:
A single mother carried the Responsible Dragon heavily. She felt solely accountable for her family’s financial future and made overly risky decisions, hoping for significant returns to secure her children’s future. The pressure was overwhelming, leading to stress and burnout.
How to Tame It: By focusing on balancing her responsibilities with self-care, crafting a steady, low-risk plan that would allow her to meet her goals without unnecessary risk or strain.
- The Angry Dragon
The Angry Dragon appeared in a client who had lost money in the 2008 financial crisis. He felt resentment toward the financial system and made rash, reactive decisions every time the market showed volatility.
How to Tame It: By addressing the root of this anger, the client starts practicing mindfulness and learns to pause before making financial decisions. By managing his emotions, he makes more straightforward, more rational choices, allowing him to stay on track even during market downturns.
- The Judgmental Dragon:
This dragon criticizes every mistake, making you hesitant to take risks or try again. A client once shared that he was harshly critical of his every investment move, constantly second-guessing himself. This Judgmental Dragon eroded his confidence, making him hesitant to act on sound investment opportunities.
How to Tame It: Reframe his mistakes as learning experiences, not failures, and encourage him to move forward with confidence and make smarter decisions.
- The Hopeless and Helpless Dragon:
The Hopeless and Helpless Dragon appeared in a client who had struggled with debt for years. He had all but given up on achieving financial security, convinced that his situation was beyond repair.
How to Tame It: We tackled this dragon by breaking his goals into small, manageable steps and celebrating each win. This gradual progress rekindled his hope; over time, he became more motivated and confident in his financial journey.
- The Ancestral Dragon
This dragon carries beliefs from family, often limiting your approach to money and investments. A client shared that he came from a family where money was always tight and saving every penny was the norm. This Ancestral Dragon made him overly cautious, so he was afraid to invest even in low-risk options.
How to Tame It: By re-examining these inherited beliefs and learning about smart investing, the client challenged old patterns and embraced healthier, more balanced financial habits, allowing him to invest confidently.
Investing is as much about understanding our emotions as it is about understanding the markets. The dragons we face—fear, doubt, past failures—can cloud our judgment and lead us off course. But by recognizing these emotional forces and actively working to tame them, we can regain control.
When we address the root of our financial behaviors, we open the door to smarter, more confident decision-making. The journey to financial success isn’t just about growing wealth; it’s about growing self-awareness. By taming your inner dragons, you set yourself on a path toward a more secure and fulfilling financial future.
Want to discover which dragons might be influencing your financial choices? Take the assessment here to uncover your hidden dragons and learn how to tame them. With this awareness, you’ll be better equipped to make smarter, more empowered investment decisions.
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Varsha Rao, CFP, writes this blog. She believes in learning, teaching, implementing, and learning again. This blog exemplifies this principle—how beautifully she compares inner dragons to different investor personas.