If I have to travel down the memory lane, I would say my mother had a sanguine relationship with money. Most of the time she used to just hoard cash in her many small – one zip purse at many places in cupboards, suitcases, different big purses. Her story is very different – she was born in very big business family and got married too into another big business family.
I hardly remember her going out herself and buying something. I have seen her always ordering stuff by making a list to a servant or most convenient to tell my father. She never travelled alone or shopped alone…it was always her father, sister or my father with her buying things for her. So the money all over in her small pockets absolutely never tested the outside weather- breeze etc. I remember notes getting stuck to each other from her old purse.
The people who know me may be surprised by this narrative. I think I may have got most of my money sense from my father. Still, if I start thinking, I can relate many things which I learnt from my mother while growing up and I reflect about them now that I am in the profession of guiding others with their money. I can relate many of her stories and connect dots.
My mother was content. She never felt ‘scarcity mindset.’ Before she demanded or wanted things, they used to come to her without the need for her to step out. Because of that mindset, she always got more. So, it is somewhere true that your vibes and mindset attract things the way you think. An ‘abundance mindset’ attracts Abundance.
Another distinct thing I remember is – she was a giver. She was generous to give away stuff to the maids, servants. A cup of tea was famous among her recipients. I hardly remember her throwing food in dustbin, like we do in cities. She used to give excess food daily to maids. I too now try to do similar stuff in my own way.
Having money in her purse, she used to feel secure. She always carried those small purses while travelling, she used to carry big purse and put small purse into it. Those were like her emergency funds. I think of that when I tell people having money gives comfort and security, so plan well, have emergency fund first.
When I was 7-8 years old, my father was trying to establish the business. I can remember some distinct incidences. His is a capital incentive business. If he needed sudden liquidity, at times, he used to dip into her purses! She was strong enough to get her balance (at times more than she gave) back in her purse after his need was met. So the learning I internalised from this is that your Hisab-kitab has to be more Pukka!
It’s been six months since she passed away. She died gracefully. There was no pain. She was not bedridden. She did not have to battle any major sickness. It was sudden n quick. She died Sowbhagyawati, my father did her final rites with much pomp and big rituals, I overheard people saying she was Lucky.
When the idea of writing this blog came up, I was not able to console myself. I felt miserable not having mother around. But while writing these memories, I felt she is with me in my memories, many incidences came alive while writing and I relived them this moment.